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Top 10 reasons why computers must be female

Last modified: 9 April 2001

1) They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.

2) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

3) They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.

4) They may do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.

5) They're typically obsolete within three years and need to be traded in for a new model.

Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're

compelled to remain with an underpowered system.

6) They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.

7) No one but their creator understands their logic.

8) Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

9) The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

10) The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as

"If you don't know why, I'm certainly not going to tell you."