EMAIL: techfiles@yahoo.co.uk

MARKETING RESEARCH

Last modified: 29 April 2001

This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by

an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour.

The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humour) - and made the

web department to take it down immediately.

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Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order

to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the

warranty registration card below.

Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will

help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt.

[_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other

First Name:.....................................................

Last Name:......................................................

Password: .............................. (max 8 char)

Code Name:......................................................

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:........... ........... ..........

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

[_] F-14 Tomcat

[_] F-15 Eagle

[_] F-16 Falcon

[_] F-117A Stealth

[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):

19....... /....... /.......

4. Serial Number(s)................................

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

[_] Received as gift / aid package

[_] Catalog showroom

[_] Independent arms broker

[_] Mail order

[_] Discount store

[_] Government surplus

[_] Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you

have just purchased:

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up

[_] Store display

[_] Espionage

[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally

[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision

to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[_] Style / appearance

[_] Speed / manouverability

[_] Price / value

[_] Comfort / convenience

[_] Kickback / bribe

[_] Recommended by salesperson

[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation

[_] Advanced Weapons Systems

[_] Backroom politics

[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

[_] North America

[_] Iraq

[_] Central / South America

[_] Iraq

[_] Aircraft carrier

[_] Iraq

[_] Europe

[_] Iraq

[_] Middle East (not Iraq)

[_] Iraq

[_] Africa

[_] Iraq

[_] Asia / Far East

[_] Iraq

[_] Misc. Third World countries

[_] Iraq

[_] Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase

in the near future:

[_] Color TV

[_] VCR

[_] ICBM

[_] Killer Satellite

[_] CD Player

[_] Air-to-Air Missiles

[_] Space Shuttle

[_] Home Computer

[_] Thermonuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)

[_] Communist / Socialist

[_] Terrorist

[_] Crazed

[_] Neutral

[_] Democratic

[_] Dictatorship

[_] Corrupt

[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

[_] Deficit spending

[_] Cash

[_] Suitcases of cocaine

[_] Oil revenues

[_] Personal check

[_] Credit card

[_] Ransom money

[_] Traveller’s Check

12. Your occupation

[_] Homemaker

[_] Sales / marketing

[_] Revolutionary

[_] Clerical

[_] Mercenary

[_] Tyrant

[_] Middle management

[_] Eccentric billionaire

[_] Defence Minister / General

[_] Retired

[_] Student

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles,

please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse

enjoy participating on a regular basis:

[_] Golf

[_] Boating / sailing

[_] Sabotage

[_] Running / jogging

[_] Propaganda / disinformation

[_] Destabilization / overthrow

[_] Default on loans

[_] Gardening

[_] Crafts

[_] Black market / smuggling

[_] Collectibles / collections

[_] Watching sports on TV

[_] Wines

[_] Interrogation / torture

[_] Household pets

[_] Crushing rebellions

[_] Espionage / reconnaissance

[_] Fashion clothing

[_] Border disputes

[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.

Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas

serve you better in the future as well as allowing you to receive mailings

and special offers from other companies, governments and extremist groups.